The First 2 Weeks of School

 The first 2 weeks of school were rough. Not for anyone but me, though. Thankfully. Jack loves being the big man on campus and having his first guy teacher- Mr. Rachunok. His teacher has all good things to say about Jack, so far, and that makes me happy. Ella also has a guy teacher because ding dong the witch is gone. We all know 4th grade will be hard but so far her teacher has proven to be super cool and a really good guy. 

Parker is in Roosevelt and LOVING it. He has a super cute and fun (probably not the way he would describe him) companion and he's super happy. I was overwhelmed when he called on Monday and it made me cry reading his note to me. I was probably not very nice and couldn't string 2 words together but he really SAW me. I love him so much.

Distressingly for me, Colleen retired and she was the GOAT. I'm very excited to work with Bettina but late Sunday night she called me freaking out and could not be comforted, despite my best efforts. She then called or texted me multiple times throughout the first week about little things here and there that were a BIG deal to her and I tried my best to be empathetic and respectful whilst also creating a boundary. Things were tense between us for the first 2 weeks and the kids are HARD. It's always hard in the beginning and since she hasn't developed the difficult skills of strict classroom management yet, it has been very over stimulating and stressful for me. But each day is a little better and I reminded myself that my relationship with Bettina is far more important than classroom management. I care more about our friendship than if that kids sit quietly in their seats. I've adopted the strategy to sing, "I don't care!" in my head multiple times a day to regain my sense of balance and stick to my boundary. I KNOW that I'm doing a great job as the kinder aide. I've been doing it a long time and I really like doing it. SHE is new to teaching and is very anxious and uncertain about it all. Instead of my absorbing her anxious energy, she can absorb my calm, confident energy. I just smile and say, "Ok! whenever she asks me to do anything (which she does in a "can you just do this because I don't want to/can't deal with it" way) and ask her a million questions do I don't assume anything and get frustrated. So far, so good.

The first 3 days we were back at school, Ray was being lazy on her ipad. Not my favorite but whatchagonnado. Then, she spend 4 days at girls camp with the stake up in Running Springs and she had a really fun time! She said she stayed away from the girls from our ward and made a lot of new friends and was genuinely very happy. I was very worried about her. They made her. move cabins 3 times when she first arrived due to miscommunications about different things and I''m so proud of her for going with the flow and being so brave. Not every person (young or old) would be so accommodating. She had fun dancing and crafting and doing all of the outdoor activities like paddle-boarding. All I wanted was for her to go up there, have a good time, and grow her testimony and I think she accomplished all of that. 

After she got home, we bought some paint and she worked on painting her room white. She wants to re do her room in her spare time before school starts and I think it's a great idea! Tanner ordered her a desk and a bulletin board and she's happy for the project. 

Tanner and I had a fun, spontaneous date night with Jon and Cami and Cort! Jon had 5 free tickets to the VIP preview of the Pageant of the Masters in Laguna and we were so lucky to get to go with him! We got there early and ate some yummy, fresh sushi from a little hole in the wall place in Laguna before seeing the show and it was so fun being together on a date night! That NEVER happens! Pageant of the Masters is incredible and we loved it. It was good to connect with Tanner, too, because he's hating his new job. It's not his favorite and the commute is the worst. We are hoping and praying for a better situation. His success needs to catch up with his ambition! But a date night was just what we both needed because I've been going crazy with work and really needing to decompress each day. 

The day Rayleigh got back from Girls Camp, I had Tanner take the girls to a birthday party and take Jack golfing so I could re set the house. Cleaning works wonders on my mental health. When everyone got home, they all wanted to veg and be lazy but my mom invited us to her annual block party and I felt like it was better that we go. So I dragged everyone out and it was fun! There was tons of food and music and games all right out in front of her house! The kids ran around and had fun (Ray stayed mostly inside because she was exhausted after just getting back from camp and then going straight to a birthday party and then straight to another party). But we were able to do fireworks at night which was so fun! Jack and Ray started fighting  (they were both very tired) and it was humiliating. We are going to have a few (or more than a few) lessons on respect. In fact, the missionaries came over for dinner and gave us a lesson on the stripling warriors and told Jack to respect his mom. Thanks elders!

The second week of school, I got lucky with lots of social time. I went to lunch with some gals from the ward, and also attend an improtu lunch time pool party at Julie's which was fun! Ray was able to have a sleep over at Alaina's house and enjoyed being with her friend. After school one day, we had a 6th grade camp meeting and then I took Noah Z and his sisters home. I love that I was able to help out a friend! After that, we drove to the Spectrum to see Toy Story 5 and it was so good! We love a good movie theater experience. The next day I took Linclon and Harper home because their mom needed to take the little sisters to their well checks. The kids played and swam while I worked on my talk for church and my Sunday Schoo lesson. Aint no rest for the weary! Thursday we played bunco for Relief Society and it's sad that no one shows up. But I DID because I want to be a good church member!!!!!

The weekend was sooooo fun. (For me, I think the rest of the family ate junk and sat on screens. But they probably loved it). After I brought the kids home from school on Friday, I headed south to Glen Ivy for a spa day with the Rondo Moms. Don't worry, I accidently got on the 91 west and was stuck in the Express Lanes until the 241 and had to turn around and back track on the 91 at 4pm. It took me an extra hour to get to Glen Ivy but I told myself to let it go, listen to my book, and eat my snacks. It was all fine once I got there and we all totally enjoyed the evening swimming together, talking and laughing. The next day, Shannon drove us to DTLA for dinner and Bingo Loco for Nichole's birthday. It was SO fun. I knew I wasn't going to win anything so I just danced the while entire time and it was the best. Bingo was at a night club called LA Exchange (formally a church, I believe) and it was the "let it loose" kind of night I never knew I needed. Bingo was over at 9 so we stopped at Chili's on the way home for a late night dessert and that's when the girl talk turned more serious and it was so tender to connect on a deeper level. I love and appreciate these Rondo Moms so much!

The next morning donned earlier than I would have liked but I was speaking in church (I'll attach my talk at the bottom) and it went really well! I'm always happy to have the opportunity to speak. My Sunday School lesson did not go as well but at least I was able to talk to the girls about Junior High and get some much needed information from them. Tanner was in the lesson with me because my partner was out of town. We watched the final World Cup game and Spain won against Argentina. Jack was happy and it was cute so see him so excited about sports. Laura and Kaela flew to NYC to be close to all the action!

I am setting goals and sticking to boundaries so I can ride this high and taking my full cup into the next 2 weeks of school. I can't wait to track off and live out all my summer time dreams!

Good morning brother’s and sisters. I’m always happy for the opportunity to speak and share my testimony with you all. My name is Chandra and I’ve been married to Tanner Peterson for a little over 22 years. We have 4 kids and the oldest, Parker, is serving a mission in Provo right now. Yes, he wanted to go there and yes he was stoked when he got his call. He’s been out a little over 8 months. He’s doing really well and loving being a missionary. Rayleigh is 12 and excited to start junior high in a few weeks. Jack is 11 and in 6th grade at Rondo School of Discovery. And Ella is our baby and she is hoping for a fantastic year in 4th grade this year. Parker was homeschooled from 5th grade until he graduated high school but I like to tell people that I reverse homeschool my other kids because when Ella started kindergarten, the school asked me to be the kinder aide and that’s where I’ve been working these last 4 years. I just started my 5th year as a kinder aide at Rondo and it’s really super fun. I love being with the kids and I’m grateful that I have Colton Cunningham in my class this year! 

Other than school, my family all sings in a large regional choir called Millennial Choirs and Orchestras and twice a year they perform at the Segerstrom in Orange County. This organization means a lot to our family. 

It all started BC, (before covid), when Tanner needed some sort of outlet or hobby that would be uplifting and rewarding and I wanted Parker to have some musical education. When my other kids were old enough to participate, they joined too and I get to drive everyone to Irvine once a week and run parking lot duty with my friend Bryan. 

Little did we know all those years ago that MCO would be so life changing. It’s like the blessing we received that we didn’t even know we needed. There have been MANY times when one or more of us would arrive to rehearsal on Thursday feeling the weight of the world bearing down in one way or another. Maybe it was the weight of work responsibilities, stress about school, or sadness with a friendship that was struggling. I’d see my kids walk into those doors one way (shoulders slumped, head down), and with %100 success rate see them walk out completely differently. Head held high, skipping and singing. 

MCO is the micro change and new beginning my family experiences each week. Much like going to church on Sunday’s.

Sundays, we are blessed with the opportunity to partake of the sacrament and renew our baptismal covenants. When we take the time to reflect, pray, and humble ourselves before the Lord, He can truly transform us. And if you want a level 10 blessing, I encourage you to participate in a meaningful fast.

A few weeks ago I was feeling pretty desperate for blessings. I had a very specific prayer and poured my heart out to Heavenly Father continually throughout my fast and even throughout the day. I pled with God for change and I can testify that He delivered. Without going into too much detail due to the personal nature of my dealings with God, I will say that if you ask Him to change your heart He is ON IT. He will not hesitate. My prayers were answered so immediately and so obviously- it was like He was not going to let me deny His hand. But more than that, it was clear He was waiting for me to ask. He was standing by with His arms outstretched eager to pour out blessings specific to me.  And most often this is how it works- Some blessings are contingent on us asking for them. 

Some of my prayers were answered through other people and to me, that is the most tender. To know that someone else was sensitive enough to the spirit and humble enough to answer a call on their heart is truly remarkable. These are the daily miracles our Bishop has asked us to be more aware of. At the beginning of the year, our family made a little journal to document the experiences we have each day and recount where we saw or felt the Lord’s hand. Without a doubt, His hand is present every day and it’s meaningful and inspiring when we take a moment to recognize Him. 

Elder Rasband once said, “The Lord’s hand is guiding you. By divine design, He is in the small details of your life as well as the major milestones."

A couple years ago I felt myself really scraping the bottom of the barrel just trying to get through. My “go to” coping mechanism (much to Tanner’s chagrin) is to plan vacations and trips. Vacations to exotic tropical destinations, road trips across Europe, cruises through the ocean, tours to foreign lands, camping, glamping, house boats… you name it. I will plan it.  Some of these trips and vacations we actually take and we have a lot of fun and have made many priceless memories. Many more live rent free in my mind or on my notes app. 

Anticipating these trips as a family has been really therapeutic and carried me through some tough days. Even if the vacation doesn’t go according to plan or doesn’t happen at all, I benefit from the endorphins that are released when I simply think about going. I think my favorite thing is traveling with my family, exploring new places, and making memories together through adventure.

But one of my best friends suggested a women’s retreat where I would leave my family behind and go alone and it sounded really intriguing to me. I went not knowing anyone besides my one friend and if you know me, you know that’s hard for me. I’m very co dependent on my wingman or woman. But I went with an open heart and a willing mind. By the end of the weekend I was on my way to some real healing and change. I decided to sign up for another retreat 6 months later. This time, it was in Montana on a lake. I wanted to take what I’d learned about myself from the 1st retreat and build on it. I was able to let go of the past a little, set a few boundaries for the future, and realized a couple things about myself. 

First, I have a scarcity complex. Like, if I don’t do this one thing right now, I’ll never get another chance. In my early days of college, my roommates would quote me saying, “There’s no time!” As I’d fly off to a class. It PAINS me to leave the beach before sunset. If I don’t sit down and fully enjoy this sunset, I’ll never get to see it again. In Montana one night, a plumbing issue arose and I was running around frantically brushing my teeth assuming we’d have to shut down the water and THEN WHAT WOULD WE DO???!?!?!?! Meanwhile, all the other women were casually talking or sitting in the hot tub, not a care in the world. WHAT IF WE CAN’T FLUSH THE TOILETS??!?!?

Why am I like this? 

I realize this disorder reaches deeper. I will tell myself, especially when I’m not feeling my best, that this will always be the way it is-and, in fact, it will probably just get worse. 

But that is not how God works. Our God is a God of abundance. He wants to bless us infinitely because His love is infinite. There is nothing we can do, no path we can take that will lead us too far for His love to reach us. 

Our beloved Elder Holland famously said, “However late you think you are, how ever many chances you think you missed, how ever far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love, It is not possible  for you to sink lower than the infinity light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”

Parker was able to pilot the church’s self reliance course for missionaries a few months ago and I loved what he shared about goals and values. You might have a goal to have a millions dollars or reach a certain health criteria- but what is the value? The value of having a million dollars might free up some of your time to do the things that you want to do. So the value is TIME. So even without a million dollars you can prioritize your day or cut back on things that take time away from what you value most like worshiping in the temple, spending time with family, ministering service or visits, or even wholesome hobbies. 

Money is the goal but time to do the things that bless your life is the value. Losing weight might be the goal but being healthy to spend quality time with your friends or family would be the value. God won’t necessarily bless you with that million dollars that you’re asking for, but He can help you see ways to prioritize your life if you’re humble and open to the spirit’s inspiration. 

Another experience at this retreat was when we decided to take the boat out. I love being on the water and am happy to stay on the boat and cheer for all those cool, athletic girls who can shred in the water. But they weren’t going to let me stay dry. They all encouraged me to try to wake surf and because I’m a people pleasing millennial, I got in the cold water and decided to try. I told myself I’d try 10 times and if I couldn’t get up, I’d still be proud of myself for trying (because I’m historically terrible at any sport where my feet are strapped to a board) And maybe these girls would see my blatant inability to do anything remotely athletic and let me off the hook. 

Well, I’m proud to tell you that I DID get up, I know- hold your applause) and once I was up I just kind of screamed and stood there not knowing what else to do. But I did it!

Would we call this growth? Change? Did these girls see something in me that I didn’t see in myself? And doesn’t God see our full potential? We are capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for. 

But what is it that holds us back? The lack of faith in the Lord’s abundance? Maybe holding on to past hurts or grudges and not trusting in the Lord’s ability to heal a broken heart. We KNOW we can lay things at His feet. We KNOW the atonement can fix what was broken. But do we TRUST? Do we take action? Do we get in the cold water and hold on to the rope and just TRY? Now I KNOW I can wake board. I’m a wake boarder. But if I never tried, I would never know. 

Asking Heavenly Father during my fast for changes, especially a change in my heart was my own way of getting in the water again. I laid it all out to Him. I told him everything I was thinking and feeling and what I wanted and thought that I needed and I was open to hear Him. I’d give Him at least 10 tries. And He nailed it the very first time. 

When I was a senior in high school I had an inspired seminary teacher. Now, I was terrible at seminary. I am NOT a morning person and our seminary class started at 5:45am. I had a very hard time waking up in time for seminary every day. My best friend would even call me to wake me up and sometimes id literally sit up in bed and force my eyes open with my fingers, but I just couldn’t wake up. But my heart was willing! One morning, I made it and my teacher had written some of her favorite scriptures on the board. 

One of those scriptures really inspired me and it became my favorite scripture too. It’s found in Ether chapter 12 verse 27. “And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto mean weakness that they may be humble. And my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me. For If they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them.”

I went to school that day and sat down in my study hall hour and wrote down all the things that make me happy like spending time with my family, spending time with Lisa who was a mom I would frequently babysit for, going to church, planning activities, going to the movies, girls camp/EFY, babysitting, shopping, stake dances, getting good grades, going to mutual, singing in the church choir, helping others, and knowing that I’m needed and appreciated. I guess not much has changed since I was 17. I also made a list of things that make me sad. This list was shorter but it included things like when someone’s mad at me, when someone talks badly about me behind my back, when someone is disappointed in me, when I hurt someone’s feelings, when I miss church or seminary, when I think too much about myself, or when I can’t or don’t have time to do something I want to do. Again, not much has changed!

Finally, at the bottom of the page, I wrote what can I do to be happy? I wrote things like, do my best in all I do. Go to bed early. Be on time to everything. Study more. Ask “how am I doing?” In an effort to improve. Write to or call people I love more. Don’t be a weak link in my family’s eternal chain. Do everything with a smile and a heart of gratitude. Be a good example to the kids I babysit. Compliment others. Be where the spirit can be. Let me light shine. Don’t make excuses or rationalize. Pray always. And blow people away with what I’m capable of. 

Again, this is good advice to me from me when I was a teenager. At that time in my life, I could not WAIT to be in my 40s. All of my favorite church leaders were in their 40s and they seemed to have it all- marriage, children, homes, careers… They had figured it all out! Now I’m here and I realize they were just doing their best and probably had many struggles that I never knew about. But they set a good example for me and I can honestly say that being in your 40’s is actually really great. 10/10 would recommend. But what this little list did for me was illuminate where I needed to change. 

If we take a moment to reflect on our personal lives (the triumphs and the struggles- a good time to do this is during the sacrament) and then humble ourselves before the Lord being honest about where we are and where we want to be, and trust in His infinite ability to love and heal our hearts- that He CAN turn our weaknesses into strengths, and THEN act (getting in the cold water and grabbing the rope) knowing He is there with His hands out stretched to pull us up when we are falling down, I testify that we can change. Our weakness can be come strengths unto Him.

I encourage you to maybe take a moment to write down what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and what you can do about it all. The list doesn’t have to be long, but taking inventory of our lives is a good place to start. Then, partake in a meaningful fast and ask the Lord to aid you in your quest for change or improvement or healing. I know that God wants us to have joy. The Savior has given us all we need to find true happiness. Don’t let a mindset of scarcity distract you from the abundance the Lord provides. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.