Hell Week

You know how in the military your first week of basic training is called "Hell Week"because it's so hard? So maybe the first week of a new year is called "Hell Week" because it's so hard getting all of those pesky New Year's resolutions going? Or maybe it was just the perfect storm for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a 3 ring circus! It's not that the kids were terrible or that I lost my patience. It was just one. thing. after. another......

It all started Sunday night. The end of an incredible weekend. A brilliant start to the new year. Parker wanted to play a friendly game of Uno. The first game lasted all of 5 minutes so we decided to play again. We had to cut the game off at an hour and a half! How does that even happen?!?!? I almost won 2 different times but Tanner played his cards right and stopped me from finishing the game. He did NOT want to lose. But when it was almost 9pm I said, "DONE!!!!" 

Then Monday's troubles started after school when we rushed to the Community Center to sign Ray up for her fist dance class (which I presumed started that day due to... that's what the registration form said!) Side note: when we told her to get her shoes and get ready so we could go to dance class she grabbed her pink shoes and 2 crowns. ha ha Anyhow, come to find out, the class doesn't start for 2 more weeks. The kids were antsy and looking to be entertained so I tried my best!

I pulled out the dreaded play dough to help ease the sadness of no dance class. I frantically threw ingredients into a pot to make soup for dinner so I could tend to my crying babies. After cleaning up the play dough we sat down at the table for dinner. The babies screamed during the prayer. I think I said that we were thankful for the sun, moon, and stars AMEN. Ray spit out her soup and only wanted yogurt. Jack was fussy and tired so I quickly ate my food. While I was doing the dishes, Ray threw her yogurt all over. It landed me, the table, the floor, and the wall. So, I had to clean that all up before getting to Jack, who was melting. I ran upstairs and got him in the tub and ran back down to clean up Ray and get her in the tub. Meanwhile Parker hadn't eaten a single bite of food. While I was bathing the babies he ran up to me and showed me his empty soup bowl. He claimed he ate so fast and took super big bites and was done.  He lied. All he did was just dump it all back into the pot. Stab to my heart! So I got him another bowl and told him to sit in the bathroom, not say a single word, and eat his soup. I gave him 10 minutes to finish. Needless to say, he cried and whined and didn't eat anything. He told me he was a "bad kid". He told me I was a mean mom. All the while I never lost my patience. I was in survival mode just trying to take are of my children's basic needs! Food, clothing, rest.... But his comments were irritating and hurtful. He negotiated the best an 8 year old could to get out of eating. I told him I was going to rock Jack to sleep. He needed to be done with his soup before I got back or else I would give him another bowl of soup. This was his second chance because by now his 10 minutes had come and gone and his second bowl of soup should have already arrived. 

I rocked Jack and he fell asleep in my arms. I wanted to stay there all night. Or freeze time. I relished looking down at his perfect, soft, chubby baby face- his puckered lips and yummy baby smell. He has me wrapped around his finger and I wanted to drink him all in. But, I could hear Ray screaming and couldn't just leave her in the tub. Duty called. Literally.

To my horror, not only did Parker STILL not eat a single bite of soup (side note: who would WANT to discipline their child at the end of a long day, especially after a soothing rock session with a sweet baby?) BUT ALSO, Ray pooped in the tub! And threw little, squishy bits and pieces of it everywhere. I was numb. I couldn't even talk. I just got her in the shower and began to clean. It took me about 20 minutes. Parker still had not eaten his soup and was crying and being dramatic. He was saying he had to pee but he had just barely used the bathroom. And how could a person need to use the bathroom that many times when they haven't even eaten anything in over an hour? I told him he could go when he was done with his soup. It should only take a minute or 2 to eat one cup of soup. Just finish and you can GO!!! I was trying to get Ray dressed and she was fighting me- kicking and screaming. I did not have the inclination to tickle, sing, or tell her a story to get her to focus and calm down. Then the diaper ripped. I lost it. I just snapped and I spanked her. Hard. She was shocked and I felt terrible. I felt so bad, it makes me cry just thinking about it. Parker said, "Why are you so mean to us?!?!?!" Oh man, I must be SUCH a horrible mother. Making my children eat healthy, home made soup. Cleaning up yogurt and poop. Bathing and dressing my babies so they will sleep clean and warm at night. I suck.

But, I got her dressed, kissed and hugged her, and laid her down to sleep. Parker was still not done. It had now been 2 hours since dinner started. I told him he had to eat an additional bowl of soup for not finishing the first on time. (We're talking a cup of soup- literally one cup) He screamed that he needed to pee so bad so I calmly told him to just pee in his pants and he DID! He'd rather pee in his pants than just finish a little bowl of soup! I brought him another bowl and sat in the corner where he couldn't see me. By 7:30 Tanner was home and Parker KNEW he needed to be done or he'd be in big trouble with Daddy. So he finally finished, took a shower, and went to bed. Tanner came home late because I asked him to run to Costco. I figured it was easier for me to do the bedtime routine alone than take all 3 kids to Costco alone. Maybe I was wrong!!!!

I think it's ironic that when I started out the day/week/year I did so with a resolve to be better. I prayed and fervently plead to Heavenly Father to help me in my commitments to improve upon myself. And here, all these horrible things happened. I sure was tested. But I was blessed with an abundance of patience. AND, a gigantic bowl of ice cream made up for a pretty terrible afternoon. 

Babies pushing babies 

Lemon picking 

I hoped the week would get better and we sure did have some good times.... 

I started really potty training Rayleigh and she's doing so well!!!!

We had 3 days of heavy rain and by Thursday morning we saw that the mountains were blanketed in snow!

Tanner was never home for dinner this entire week. Tuesday he had a doctor's appointment and Wednesday he had an "outbreak" at work (just a cough but lots of phone calls, reporting, and paperwork). I was hitting the bottle by 5pm! Luckily he was home in time for me to rush off to Relief Society Thursday night. I've realized that I need to make sure I'm taking time for myself each week. I love to get out and find fun adventures but it's hard with 2 napping babies. So I'm stuck at home most of the time which is fine and I love my home but I find that something in me is lacking. And even though when Tanner gets home I'd MUCH rather be relaxing with him, I'm better off after taking time to dip into those other areas of my life and filling the cups that are running empty.

Time to lower Jack's crib! 

I turned my back for literally less than 1 minute and Ray was stacking soup cans and Jack had dumped out the snacks. Tanner thinks it's ridiculous how many messes these kids make. I don't think he realizes how completely normal it is. 

Do you see how perfect his little face is? Well, let me tell you a little story about Thursday. I took the kids to the park after school because it had finally stopped raining and they were in need of some fresh air. Badly. The park was literally a pool. Great! Call Ray "Peppa Pig"! She had a blast running through the water, jumping in muddy puddles, and generally making a huge mess of herself. I was glad to see her having so much fun and running around getting her energy out. Parker played with friends and I had Jack in the stroller. Usually, I'm wearing him. But I decided to throw him in the stroller this time. As we were getting ready to go I had to strip Rayleigh down to nothing because she was soaked and muddy. As I was doing this she thought it was funny to run off. Picture me chasing a naked toddler across the park. She was squealing with delight. Me, not so much. But when I got her back to the car and was wiping her off I saw, from the corner of my eye, that Jack was strolling off the curb. He'd been patiently waiting for his turn to get loaded into the car and randomly started moving! The brake on the stroller is broken and he tumbled off the curb and into the street, landing face down. I yelled to Parker to get out and help. Strangers from the park came running. Ray went running off in the parking lot. Still naked. We caused quite the scene. Poor Jack was crying so hard but he's ok. Everyone was cold and tired when we got home. We had a fast dinner and a long bubble bath.

We baked up the fish Parker caught over the weekend  and it was actually really yummy! Parker also baked muffins! He's such a stud. He's in art club now, after school, and is enjoying scouts and guitar too!

By Friday I was ready to go on a date!!!! Parker was invited to the Bishop's house for pizza and games. Shelly watched the babies. Tanner and I went on a double date to PF Chang's with some friends from the ward. I wore my leather jacket from Italy! I got it in Florence when I was 16. And it still fits!

Saturday when Tanner was picking Parker up from a birthday party I was getting the babies into bed. I ran downstairs to grab their bottles and Ray followed me down. I had Tilly, our vacuum cleaner, going and so Ray hid from it behind the couch. I could hear Jack crying and knew he might try to go down the stairs (something he's never done before) so I was frantically trying to grab her as she was crouched down low almost out of reach. Then I heard Jack scream and knew he'd done it. I raced to the stairs and found him backwards with his foot caught in the railing. He was shook up but totally fine. So I rocked him to sleep and left Ray downstairs crossing my fingers that she wouldn't get hurt or make a mess while I was with Jack. She was fine too, still hiding behind the couch when I was done. But man! These kids are challenging me!

Today at church Ray was NOT wanting to sit still- weird!!!! So I took her outside and she jumped in the leaves and then found this random gated area that looked like a jail cell and squeezed through the bars! Sheesh!

I love my life and I'm so thankful for opportunities to learn and grow. These days are full of excitement both good and bad but I wouldn't have it any other way!