Expect Miracles

 Sunday evening, I texted the principal and told him I needed to talk to him. The next day, feeling happy and hopeful, but SUPER anxious, I walked into his office and sat down to have an hour long conversation with him. He started to talk and I said, "It's my turn to talk" and I told him how I love working at the school but that our last conversation left me feeling so awful. He looked down and said, "I made you feel badly?" and I said, "No! You didn't MAKE me feel that way, but that's how I felt after our conversation". He was penitent. I explained to him that we'd had a huge turn around having our behavior aide there every day to help with Nicholas and that things are much better in the classroom. (We even got into a laughing fit together- Colleen, the aide, the student teacher and me- because we are all so much happier and can finally BREATH). I reassured him that all is well and that we are making progress in kindergarten.

I then talked to him about the accusations with Jillian's mom and we basically are in agreement about how crazy she is now. I don't want to go into all the details, but we cleared the air and he has a better understanding of how SHE is and who I really am. I am awesome! (and she sucks  ha ha). Rayleigh is happy in school and Jillian is being a better friend. Rayleigh even made a new friend who is a fellow axolotl enthusiast! Jack is struggling in 4th grade with his terribly mean teacher and I talked a little bit about that with the principal. 

But the bottom line is that I feel soooo much better after having that conversation with Trevor and I'm so thankful he gave me the time and space to communicate my feelings.

Wednesday I hosted my first Activity Days for Boys. We had a swim party and I told Jack to invite all the boys from class. Wyatt came and so Desiree brought Aurora to play with Ella and I told Sophia she could come over, too. The girls played inside while I sat outside with the boys. It was a great time and Jack was so happy. I got set apart for that calling today and I was blessed to share the truthfulness of God's love for each of the boys who come to each activity. That's all I want. I want them to know that God loves them and for them to have fun.

That night I had bookclub at Valerie's house and Desiree came with me to that, too. We didn't have a big turn out- just 4 of us. But I really enjoyed the book. It was written by an member of the church who lives in Utah and had been down the road of addiction. One big take away is that we need to set boundaries, especially with our kids. They need to be able to learn for themselves to fully be capable of making good choices and staying on the covenant path. We, as parents, only want our kids to be happy. But sometimes we prolong their misery but overstepping and protecting them from real growth and lasting happiness.

Another was when he talked about believing in a Higher Power. He said the God he believed in was absolutely sending him to Hell. That God was dissapointed in him and he was not worthy of that God's love. So his counselor encouraged him to get to know a new God to believe in. He went to a private room to pray, got down on his knees, and cried out to God- basically saying, "Why did you forsake me?" and in that moment of raw emotion he felt the peaceful, loving embrace of his Savior. He knew at that moment that God loved him God forgave him (would ALWAYS forgive him) and that he was absolutely worthy of love. It was a huge turning point for him as he battled addiction and I really felt the spirit as I read about that experience. 

Thursday was school, a massage and treatment at the chiropractor, and MCO! Jack was really upset when I picked him up from school. He was crying and angry with his mean teacher. He was so sad, he didn't even want to talk about it. But we all rallied around him to cheer him up and Rayleigh let him play her trumpet. On any other day, a loud trumpet being blown while I was driving down the 91 would have stressed me out- but I was so glad Jack could be cheered up. I keep telling him to keep his head down and do his best in school. He's a smart kid and top of his class... so there's hope! We got there early to set up cones and I was so happy to help. I helped in the bathroom, too and then was able to listen to the kids sing for a little bit. Oh man, how I love MCO and the beautiful Christmas songs! We got Wendy's and went to my parents' house to shower and get ready for bed while we waited out traffic. Again, it was so nice to spend time with them and be in their loving home. Parker went there that night after MCO to be there on Friday to help when my mom got new carpet! (She brought him home on Saturday after the car show and lunch- even Ben and Noah spent the night and got in on the action. Parker was so happy.)

Friday, I got peer pressured to go on a 5 mile while with my friend Mindy from work. ha ha It was fine but I was not prepared to walk and I was hot and sweaty by the end. Jack wasn't able to go to principal's recess but he was good so she had mercy on him and let him catch the last few minutes. He was happy about that! We were all so happy that it was Friday! Woo hoo! We made it to the weekend! And I had a lot of fun plans.

Friday night we had our first Rondo Kinder Aide bunco night! We went to Lindsey's house and it was so fun! Everyone brought yummy food and the game playing was lively. I even won with the most bunco's and got $40! It was nice being with my coworkers outside of school and catching up on real life. They are wonderful women who I love and respect!

Saturday, we took Jack to his soccer game and again, his team dominated. He is a star and has so much fun out there on the field. Tanner was feeling upset with me because we hadn't had a chance to connect (life is CRAZY) and he felt like he was getting all of my sloppy seconds (being busy with bunco and book club and my calling and school drama and GNO...) We got into a fight (not in front of the kids) because we didn't use the conflict management tool we were taught but we got through it and had a nice date on Saturday afternoon. We got lunch and massages and I convinced him to come with us to Chicago this weekend so he bought a plane ticket (sooooo $$$$ but oh well). I'm so happy he's coming and I think he's excited, too.

We dropped Jack off at Alec's house and he was able to play with him and go to HIS soccer game and cheer him on. Then Tanner picked him up and a short while later, Alec's mom picked ME up for a Girls Night Out to celebrate Shannon's birthday. She kinda maybe vaped marijuana on the way to pick up Nichole and I think that's maybe illegal??? But, we survived. I asked Haley about that at church today and she said. "Why are you hanging out with these people?" and I said, "Because I have no Mormon friends anymore!!!!" duh....

Anyhoo, we went to this place called Hamburger Mary's for dinner and a show.. a Drag Queen show. It was awful and so awkward and I'm still really confused. But "Mariah Carey Carey" liked me so maybe I'm attractive to drag queens or gay men and I think I feel kinda good about that! I'll take the wins anyway I can get them! Everyone drank except for me and I just really hope my LDS friends can be nice to me again soon because, as cute and fun and sweet as these girls are, this is NOT my jam. But it was fun and I was happy. And Tanner was happy because I was happy.

Today is Sunday and Kim and Monte gave their farewell address. We, obviously, didn't go because we weren't invited and had no where to stay. I'm hoping, just like my friends, that they will try harder to reach out and put their arms around us. I know it's my job too, but I think we can ALL agree that I've tried way too many times and have had the door slammed in my face enough times that it's their turn to show a little love and effort. BUT, needless to say, we are happy for them and proud of their decision to serve a mission. We are excited to hopefully visit them in the Philippines and I'm sure they are having a wonderful time with family today. 

Jill was at church today for a farewell (also, just on her way home from being in Hawaii with Erika) and I was nice and talked to her for a little bit. Parker and I both got set apart in our callings- he is the Priest Quorum Secretary and I'm with the Activity Day Boys. The Bishop blessed us both and mentioned our unique personalities and how we have the ability to influence others. Parker is a good kid and a light to those around him. He knows who he is. He is constant and has always been on the right track. He is a major influence for good to those around him!

I'm grateful for a day of rest and that things are finally looking up! This should be a good week and I will try my best to serve and love. I expected miracles this week and I was truly blessed. Lets keep the good times rolling!