A Most Uneventful Christmas Break

News Flash: I've been feeling lousy.

And the weather, for the most part, hasn't been too great. So we've had a LOT of stay at home days doing nothing. And I mean, NOTHING. I lay around and vomit every so often as the kids eat junk and create catastrophes and watch inane amounts of TV. I honestly feel like a terrible Mother. But, I remind myself that this is temporary. I'm not sick. I am creating life. And the kids are happy.

They don't complain about being bored. They don't give me a hard time for being lazy. They are happy and cheerful and sweet. I really am so lucky to be blessed with 3 amazing children.

Every once in a while, I gathered the strength to do some sort of activity with the kids. I helped Rayleigh paint on her new easel and she loved it. She is going to have so much fun with it when I let her use the paints again. ha ha She found them and was bringing them upstairs to me one day and spilled red paint all over the stairs (on accident, of course) so I hid it all from her. I have to be sitting right there with her, helping her dip her brushes and cleaning her spills. Otherwise it would be a disaster zone! (Or a work of art, I guess it depends on how you look at it.)

Sadly, our dear sweet James Christensen passed away. It was devastating news and to tell you the truth, it really affected me for a few days. But I really enjoyed reading all of the wonderful memories and sentiments about him online. He really was an incredible person who touched countless lives. I have no doubt he is busy at work on the other side of the veil.

We had a couple of nice, warm days. I was grateful for the sunshine but then felt guilty that I didn't even take my kids to the park. I am a zombie lately!

It's a good thing we have a camera set up downstairs. I could lay in bed and check on them. Parker is always so good to take care of the babies, get them snacks, and turn on shows for them to watch. I don't know what I'd do without him!!!

I'm literally only like 6 weeks in this picture but I look 20. Either that or the fact that I just ate an entire foot-long sandwich. I crave sandwiches when I'm pregnant. Disregard the fact that I look like a hot mess. Like I said, survival mode.

I can't remember where Tanner was on New Years Eve but for some reason he was gone. Jack might have been asleep but I had Rayleigh in the highchair eating and I was sitting next to her. Next thing I knew, she was dozing off! So I took her out and bundled her in my arms and she slept on me for about 2 hours. Heaven. Pure bliss. (She wasn't sick, just needed a good rest)

Later that night she cuddled up to Tanner too! My kids love a good snuggle. I think they've all enjoyed a slower paced few weeks- just being at home. They are such good kids.

Happy to be with Daddy! Having Christmas/New Year's fall on the weekend, Tanner had each Monday off. He also took Tuesday off after Christmas because he had just finished his horrendous survey and decided to take an extra day off to relax (and clean up Christmas). It was sooooo nice having him around. He has been doing ALL of the shopping lately and the majority of dinner when he's home in time. I don't think he likes me not feeling well but I'm so grateful for his help! We haven't really told anyone about this pregnancy and all of our friends have been busy with their own holiday shenanigans so I haven't had too many people reach out to me. Jill knows and she invited the kids over to play one day and brought me dinner. She's an angel! And of course our babysitter knows and she's been great to rely on! My Mom came over one day and we grabbed some lunch at the Panera drive through and she just hung out with me. It was so nice! There's really nothing anyone can do to make me not sick or tired. But feeling loved and supported is really comforting.

Rayleigh is a very bright child. I've had multiple people tell me that including her preschool teachers and nursery leaders. So when I saw her problem solving like a boss the other day, I had to document. She didn't even ask me for help. She knows I keep some of her toys up above the TV because I don't want her to lose the parts and pieces. Well, she just took these 2 chairs and stacked them on top of each other and got down what she needed. I helped her get down but I was very impressed. She is so happy and sweet. This girl is going places....

First day of Sunbeams! I was not feeling well enough to go and Jack had fallen asleep right before the meeting started (we are going to have an adjustment to 11:30 church). But sweet Kathy took these pictures of Mabel and Rayleigh and Garrett sitting in the front row of their very first day of primary!!! Good luck, primary teacher! ha ha Rayleigh has never been one to sit on a chair for any given amount of time. But I know she'll learn. I'm thankful for my village.

The day I turned 8 weeks I felt so good. Too good. I had energy and didn't throw up in the morning. I was scared. So I frantically booked an ultrasound to calm my nerves. Tanner was able to meet me on his lunch break and we saw the baby's heart beat but the tech gave me a horrible scan. It was really awful. She was too quick and didn't show me what I wanted to see. I should have spoken up. I was really mad and super frustrated for the rest of the day. The odds of losing this baby are higher than keeping it, so I'm on edge. I just hope and pray that the baby is healthy and everything's ok. I'm back to feeling terrible again so I guess that's good.

Rayleigh bit Jack. This broke my heart. They play together really well but sometimes she gets frustrated and instead of talking, she bites. I felt so bad when I saw his poor little arm!!!!

These babies literally freaked out when we first played Elefun. They were screaming with delight. It was so funny!

Friday night pizza. Since Tanner has had so many days off I can't complain when he has to work late. He's even come home around 4:30-5 a few times which is like being on vacation! I try never to bother him when he's at work, especially to complain or put pressure on him to come home. But it's hard because I'm lacking in my abilities to fulfill all of my duties as a caregiver. Friday night we splurged and ordered pizza. Parker turned on a movie and it was awesome. Nothing better!

I'm hoping that I start feeling better soon. I'm usually sick from week 6 to week 10. This sickness hit me a few days early. So we shall see. I know I'll be tired through this whole pregnancy but if I can gain a little more energy in my second trimester it will make all the difference. It's so hard for me to plan and prepare meals when I want to vomit constantly. It's the worst. I have told Tanner a few times that I know I'm not being a good mom and I know I'm not being a good wife (don't get me started on how I'm lacking as a wife- good grief). But as long as my husband and children have patience with me, I promise to do the best I can!!!! I love them so much and only a baby is worth this much suffering! ha ha