Thoughts

For the past few days I've been wrestling with some thoughts and have had a hard time lending my brain to any other topic. Saturday, millions of women peacefully marched all over the world to not only protest but to bring awareness to the issues of fairness, equality, and peace. That is a generalized statement regarding Saturday's proceedings but at the end of the day, the protests were proven to have not caused any permanent damage but have sparked a huge debate on WHY exactly these women marching felt so strongly about their individual causes. Many have posed the question: "What rights do you not possess, being a woman, that a man does have?" The answer is none. But some women feel that they are still not treated equally regardless of what is written in the law. Statistics prove that women get paid less than men performing the same job. I feel like the marches have brought to light the need to see every person as a human being and not according to race or gender. This is what I believe as a follower of Christ. I believe that God wants me to love Him with all my heart, might, mind, and strength and to love my neighbor as myself. This is not hard for me to do as I feel deeply for my fellow man. I have a hard time learning about other's pain and suffering because I feel it to a degree. Likewise, I relish the good news that I hear because it brings me joy, regardless of who that person is, what they look like, or what gender they are!

I've been trying to form in my mind my commitments and convictions- why would I personally choose to march? I would want others to know that I believe that man and woman are equal but not the same. That our differences compliment each other and we can accomplish more together than we can on our own. I would love for the government to protect mothers and allow them the right to stay home with their babies after delivery for 6 months without fear of losing their jobs or loss of wages. I honestly dont know how we would go about accomplishing this feat but my heart breaks for those friends of mine who have had to leave their babies in the care of others at 6 weeks of age simply because they couldn't afford to stay home with them or for fear of losing their job. For me personally, I'd love for my husband to be given at least 2 weeks off after us welcoming a baby into the world because that's the time when I'm too weak to carry out my other duties. Especially after a C section when lifting and driving are strictly prohibited. And it would be nice if employers could offer this leave with happiness instead of hesitancy.

I'd march for all of those women suffering from infertility. Having gone through 5 years of infertility and 3 miscarriages, I know first hand how incredibly heart breaking it is. How it wears on you and affects every aspect of your life. Your work, your marriage, your other relationships- often times the ones we hold most dear. The vast majority of infertility treatments, including adoption, are not covered under any kind of health insurance policy. The cost for procedures, lab work, and prescription medication is astronomical. Many women suffer in silence because they simply have no options. They cannot afford to see a doctor and their efforts to conceive on their own have proven ineffective. Or they have no partner to create a life with! When I had a miscarriage after spending thousands of dollars on infertility treatments, I had to then spend money I didn't have (nor would I have known or anticipated the need to save) for a medical procedure to evacuate the baby. My body was weak. I was emotionally drained. It was a very dark and terrible time in my life.

I have my doubts on whether even a fraction of these women have gone through the pain in anguish of wanting so desperately to have a child and having that denied them- for whatever reason. I'd like to assume that the choice to abort a baby would hold the same pain and anguish. But I would never, ever advocate for the right to abort a baby based on "my body, my choice". It's my body and my choice to have a baby but no law or funding or President of the United States is going to make that happen for me.

I saw women protesting such ideas as why feminine products are taxed when medications for men such as Rogaine and Viagra are not. I don't know if this is true or not. And I'd like to see a future where feminine products were more affordable. I saw a documentary shining light on the problem homeless women face when they menstruate. Without the means to store such items or pay for them, they are left to their own devices to come up with ways to cope. I'd never imagined myself in a similar situation and it was sobering. With regards to women's Heath and wellness, these concerns and issues I can stand behind.

But to claim that I've felt inferior to men or denied certain privileges because I am a women is simply not the life I've led. I've been blessed to have a strong, supportive father, a kind and watchful brother, a loving and hardworking husband, and a host of other male figures in my life who have made me feel uplifted and safe. I can empathize with the women who suffer with low self esteem or self worth, mental illness, or less than ideal male figures in their lives. And to those women, I stand ready to help, to listen, to mourn with them, feed and cloth them, and love them.

My religion is the number one reason I would march. For the freedom to worship and practice when and where I choose. To have the support of the community around me when my religion doesn't follow social trends and new political policy such as the legalization of gay marriage. Personally, I'd rather a gay couple feel safe and happy in a loving committed marriage to one another. Because the clergy in my church does not practice this type of ceremony doesn't mean other religions or organizations shouldn't. In fact, the freedoms of religious practice that I so cherish and enjoy are in direct reflection of the glorious right it is for others to practice their beliefs. My job is love to my neighbor. Not to judge.

But, honestly, I feel that if I were to march and publicly announce my beliefs and thoughts regarding politics and religion I would be mocked. I am in an elite group of "peculiar people". This circle brings me hope and security in a world which spins in a completely different direction. I have peace and contentment inside the walls of my home because of my faith and the practice and rituals that encompass my religion. I have peace and contentment inside my heart because i have no doubt about who my Father in Heaven is and what He expects of me. He wants me to serve me fellow man. To make the world a more peaceful place by showing tolerance to people who differ from me. To mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort.

I find no greater joy than being in a committed marriage and working hard to make that relationship successful. I find no greater happiness than being a mother and nurturing my children, seeing them smile and watching them learn and be kind to others. My family is my greatest asset. My family makes my life complete and worth living. I believe that the family (mother, father, children) is the ideal circumstance for earthy life and the way the Lord designed our lives to be fulfilling and complete. The standard is set but that doesn't mean all people achieve this station. Happiness and fulfillment can still be found, in all unique and differing levels of living. How lucky we are to have a Devine design where not one shoe fits every individual who ever walked the earth!

We all come to earth with our own magnificent set of gifts and talents, passions and perspectives. When we strive to build on what drives us, we find unparalleled fulfillment. When we use those areas of expertise to serve mankind, our destiny is being delivered to the world. When we all try to be alike, when we all try to fit into the same shoe, discontent and discouragement forms. Resentment, bitterness, even hatred run rampant. I know first hand that when I compare my weaknesses to others' strengths I feel the most defeated and hopeless. Perhaps that big and spacious building would like us all to be the same, and act and think and dress the same.

All of this turmoil can leave a person feeling sad. But the Lord will not leave us comfortless. We have all be blessed to be born with the Light of Christ. We have the Holy Spirit. We have the temple. We have friends and family on both sides of the veil willing to lift and sustain us. We have the scriptures and words of the prophets literally within our reach 24 hours a day. And we have the power of prayer to calm our worried souls.

So instead of marching I chose to read. To study. To pray. To serve. To love. To teach my children and show them their worth. To show grace to those who leave me wanting and needing more. To join with my husband in the quest for eternal progression. I firmly believe that the best way for me to change the world is to go home and love my family. So if you need me, you know where to find me.