The First Week of School

Posted by Chandra July 12, 2020

The First Week of School

So, I’ve been in a bad mood. It comes in waves, but I am irritable, easily annoyed, and isolating myself- especially from Tanner. It’s not that my life is HARD. It’s that I’m doing hard things with grace and precision and excellence and not feeling any sense of accomplishment or peace or satisfaction.

Rayleigh and Jack both started school this week and while there was a steep learning curve and this is NOT how we imagined the first week of school looking like, it was not a total and complete failure. Rayleigh started 1st grade and Jack started kindergarten. They both had Google Meets with their teachers and classmates. They have school work assignments and reading and writing to do. It’s going to be ok. And quite honestly, I’m impressed with the way things are going. Each of their teachers even snuck over to our house and left a sign for the kids in the yard! Now THAT’S going above and beyond, if you ask me.

I told myself that with the kids starting school, I needed to get back to a more productive morning routine and return to the gym. So I set my alarm for 6:30am and was able to hit the gym and do 3.2 miles on the elliptical each morning followed by some yoga and a few days of swimming laps. That felt good. I had a conversation with Parker about goals. For me, if I workout, take a shower, and have a devotion each day, I feel accomplished and that I’ve done the things that matter most to ME. Those things lie in my inner most circle. The circle surrounding that one would be doing these same thing for my children: getting them physically active, making sure they are bathed and clean, and teaching them the gospel each day, including prayer. The circle outside of that would include cooking healthy meals and keeping the house clean, spending quality time with Tanner... and the circles continue outward. Parker’s inner circle was “social time” which I totally understand because that is so typical for a teenager.
Parker and I were able to sit down and set some goals together, too, and include rewards for achieving those goals. I’m so proud of Parker. He had a good head on his shoulders and really does choose the right- even if he doesn’t make his bed every day. I don’t know what I’d do without my right hand man!

Anyhoo, on Thursday I had an early morning dentist appointment and had to bring all the kids and leave them in the car (I had no other choice! #covid) We went to Linda Lane and met up with the Braithwaite girls. Oh how seeing them and chatting with them filled my cup. I sure do love each and everyone of them. Even Ella instinctually curled up next to Lisa and snuggle on her for a long time. It was adorable. Those girls made me feel like a million bucks, complimenting me on my mothering and telling me a looked like a “teen mom” and how fun I was. Like I said, they really filled my cup.

Rayleigh has a dentist appointment on Monday, too, and had to get a little pre cavity filled. She had to get gassed and everything and she was so brave. She sure has come a long way! Remember when she ran out the front door and refused to even have her teeth looked at? I’m so proud of her.

After the beach, we drove by the kids’ new school to meet their teachers and pick up their folders! It was interesting to say the least. Everyone had masks on. But we are excited to physically attend this amazing new school some day!

But, let’s get back to how I’ve been having a hard time. I keep running into things and have bruises all over my body and I cut my finger REALLY badly while slicing up a watermelon. While I was teaching Jack kindergarten, Ella made a mess in the fire place so I told her to wash her hands and she proceeded to flood the entire bathroom. I sent my mom a video and she complimented me on keeping my cool and not yelling. I told her I’m beyond feeling and am now a robot.

A few highlights, though, are that I was able to attend a ZOOM Book Club with my mom’s group. We read “Bright As Heaven” which is a historical fiction about the Spanish Flu and really interesting! I was also honored to scan both Jill and Erika’s sister which I LOVED. Especially Erika’s sister who has struggled for years with infertility and her baby looks great!

We were also able to meet up with our 8 closest friends for a last minute date night. We all grabbed food and ate outside in the food court by our houses. I had already eaten so Tanner and I got Cold Stone and between that a good company, I was on my way to feeling a bit better. Have I said how grateful I am for my friends?

Saturday was nice and relaxing, I didn’t get out of my pajamas allll day and Sunday we had a nice “at home“ church service and then loaded the kids up and drove to the temple. I miss going inside but I will always strive to stay temple worthy to enter as soon as I can. The kids seemed to perk up when as we walked around the Newport Beach temple and it was like the spirit there settled upon all of us and made us all feel a little better. We came home, ate chicken and rice, did a little swimming, and settled down for family movie night.
Life right now is not for the faint of heart. It takes grit, resilience, patience and kindness. And lots and lots of self love. I think this week I just needed a cheerleader- someone to tell me I’m doing so great! That I am enough and that I am rocking it! I know I have angels in heaven rooting for me. I just need to be still, and know.