October Occasions
The past couple of weeks have been up and down. Ella has had several birthday parties for friends in her class like Rida and Aurora. She also performed with her besties at the Fall Festival. She loves her little cheer squad and it's so cute watching these girls giggle and play together. We were able to have a evening at 3 Arch to have a bon fire and watch the stars for Jack's science project. We brought his friend/science project partner, Alec and it was really a fantastic night. The waves were huge (king tides) and the stars were clear and bright. We even got to see a rare comet! I prayed that our evening at the beach would be a balm to my soul and it was. I've been struggling so much with my poor, sweet Rayleigh.
Last Wednesday, she came home and told me that Jillian said she was weird and didn't want to be her friend anymore. It broke my heart. She said she cried in the bathroom that day at school and the assistant principal had to drag her out screaming and crying (I was very upset that the school didn't tell me about any of this). I'm glad that the assistant principal was able to give her a pep talk about not changing a thing about herself and got her to go back to class.
But still, Ray told me she felt stuck because she loves her teacher but she thinks everyone in class hates her and she has no friends. Her teacher left unexpectedly and has been gone for a few weeks. No one knows where she is or why she's gone but clearly it is personal and serious. I think the teacher being gone, having a series of subs, and the stress of it all has gotten to the kids.
I kept Ray home on Thursday and Friday and was a complete and total emotional mess. I could barely get through the day without crying. On Tuesday, though. Tanner and I were finally able to meet with Dr. D and had a great conversation. He gave me some helpful advice and was really kind and compassionate. AND, when I was done with that meeting, I went back to class and stayed so I could see Ray and help with buddies and she whispered in my ear that Jillian wants to be friends again! Ugh....
I want to be happy for Ray but this girl is killing me. And I wish I could be friends with Jillian's mom but I had to set a boundary with her. So, I know Jillian will hurt Ray again and I just need to know how to handle that better. A tender mercy was seeing Mufaddel after school. He's such a sweet friend and said he'd love to sit with Ray at lunch time which would be so nice. Another tender mercy was on Sunday- the kids were practicing for the primary program and I had a teacher text me and say how impressed she was with Ray's talk. Ray really is a gifted public speaker. But it made me feel so good to hear that from someone who really didn't need to say anything but felt prompted to and it made all the difference for me.
Also, Nichole came over on Saturday, before we went to the beach, and gave Rayleigh a birthday gift and a birthday cake, sang to her, and made her feel so special. She stayed to chat with me and I know these people reaching out is the Lord's way of blessing me.
During General Conference, President Nelson said the coming of the Lord will be sooner than we realize. And with all of the earthquakes we've been having, I can't help but to believe that's true! ha ha But in all seriousness, Satan is working harder than ever and targeting even our most vulnerable- our children. He's trying to break my Ray's tender spirit but God's power is stronger and His arm of holy angels is working tirelessly day and night to combat Satan's influence and keep us safe. With the guiding and enabling power of the Holy Ghost and the Savior on our side, we will not only have the strength to endure our trials, but the peace and joy that attend all who endure well.
Going back in time a little bit, the day Rayleigh came home and told me the heart breaking story of her crying in the bathroom again, I had to wipe my tears and put on a happy face because I was hosting my very first activity day for the boys. We carved pumpkins and performed various experiments on them like elephant toothpaste, volcano, fireworks, and crushing them beneath the tires of the car. The boys had a blast. But I was so drained at the end of the day.. and I've pretty much been drained ever since. Luckily, Tanner and I were able to spend an evening at the temple last Friday night (Parker was also there with the youth doing baptisms). We did initiatories but I took some time to sit and pray in the celestial room all by myself which was precious to me.
So THEN, a few days later, I took the kids to Disney for a much needed evening of magical therapy. But Jack's behavior was atrocious. He complained the moment we got there and said he wanted to go home and in a moment of rage I said, "THEN LEAVE!" So he did and as I took the girls in the merry go round, he (unbeknownst to me) went on the tea cups alone. I thought he'd be there waiting for us at Space Mt which was our next ride but he wasn't so I had to ask security to help me find him. He was at Pinocchio and I thought he'd be remorseful but he was totally fine (I'm sure he was scared and sad but he was fighting it) And fighting me! And Ella!
He was being awful so later on I hit my limit again and I made him sit on a bench while I took the girls on Thunder Mt. He met us at the exit and pushed me crying and telling at me "I hate you! I hate you!" He was soooo mad at me and kept crying and yelling as I pulled him aside to try and talk with him but he was unreasonable and I was now crying and it was a whole big mess. I don't know how I even made it home. I was crushed. Jack's my most obedient child. My funny boy. But he was UPSET. And to make matters worse, as I was trying to punish him for his bad behavior and make him sit out on a ride, a cast member felt sorry for him and bought him a Mickey pretzel!!!!! Such a Jack moment.
I wanted to ground him into the next century. But I realized what he really needed was some 1:1 time with me. He'd been asking for it and told me he had a hard day at school and I just didn't listen. I had been so focused on Ray for about a week, too. Jack was feeling some big feelings and I wasn't there to comfort him and encourage him. So, we had a big talk at his soccer game on Saturday (the first game they lost all season) and we decided to have a little date to Disney on Monday. We brought Rayleigh so we didn't have to wait in line and she was super supportive of Jack getting most of the attention. He was so happy and loved to hold hand with me, talk to me, and get to choose all of the rides. He's back to his old smart alec self and I hope we can always work through our hurt feelings together.
This Thursday was twin day at school and Jillian and Ray matched. Ella matched with her cheer friends and Jack wore pokemon shirts with his buddies. We had the MCO attire check and I was able to help our a little extra. We love MCO!!!!! And of course, it was so nice being with my loving parents at the end of Thursday.
Friday, Tanner brought me Cafe Rio and we sat in the hot tub for date night. Parker went to my parent's house to have a cousin sleep over with Ben. Noah, Jessi, and Kim. My parents were so awesome to host and they actually had a really great time with the big teens! Parker had a blast with his cousins and drove everyone down to the car show the next morning. He stayed all day at I was able to drive him home that night because...
We went to Aurora's first birthday party, a pool party with friends, and then drove down to San Juan to have a BBQ with Dave and Leslie Ann. We hadn't seen them in so long and it was so fun catching up and being with them again. Leslie Ann and I talked and talked and Dave gave Tanner so much great advice about starting a company. We swam and the kids played and it was so nice. And it was truly so touching to see little Della running around so happy and healthy.
Sunday was the Primary Program, it was Rayleigh's very last one! My parents came up to watch and support the kids. I gave the opening prayer which was such an honor. Rayleigh gave the first talk and she did absolutely amazing. I am so proud of her! The kids were clear and confident in the microphone and sang loud and beautiful. They were excellent!
Later that day, Aurora had a second birthday party at a skating rink which was so fun for Ella and Jack. Ray stayed home with Tanner and it chatted with some of the moms there at the party.
It's been an exhausting couple of weeks with LOTS of ups and downs. But we are finally in a good place! Tanner has made a lot of progress in his plans to start his company and has made a lot of good contacts and connections. Everyone is so supportive of him. He had a fun karaoke night with his MCO group late Thursday night and he's feeling really good. Parker is working hard and hoping to buy a car soon. He's still dating Emerald and seeing her as much as he can while keeping up with his classes.
There's no stopping this extraordinary family of mine!!!!
Ray’s Primary Talk:
This year we have been studying the Book of Mormon. My family and I read the Book of Mormon every night before bed. We watch church videos in the car on the way to school. And I love learning about the Book of Mormon in my primary class with Brother and Sister Graves.
But, a really cooI experience my family had was visiting Palmyra, New York in June and seeing where Joseph Smith first prayed to know which church was true and where he found the golden plates. We went on tour with our choir, Millennial Choirs and Orchestra and performed in the Boston Symphony Hall.
We spent 3 days in New York City- seeing the sites like the Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero. We also saw Back to the Future on Broadway!
Then, we spent 3 days in Boston filming a music video, rehearsing, and performing. The concert was called “God Bless America” and we sang patriotic music. We walked the Freedom Trail and learned more about how our founding fathers built this country to practice religion freely.
Finally, we drove to upstate New York where we visited church history sites such as the Grandin Press and the Hill Cumoah. We even made a special trip to the sacred grove at night to catch fire flies!
My favorite part of the whole trip was singing with the choir and orchestra outside in a field near the sacred grove. Just after the concert started, a huge thunder storm rolled in and drenched everyone! I thought the concert would get canceled but the audience, dripping wet, begged for the show to go on. Without any sound equipment such as speakers, we sang straight from the heart. The song the choir sang was the First Vision and the spirit was so strong.
I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know he translated the Book of Mormon through the power of God.
The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ and teaches us how to be more like Him. I am grateful for the scriptures and the stories that are told in their pages. We learn about Nephi’s courage and how to trust God. We learn about Ammon and how to serve others and be a good example. And we learn about King Benjamin and how important it is to follow a living prophet. There are so many stories that teach us how to live a life full of happiness and peace.
I’m grateful for the Bible and the Book of Mormon. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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