Hysterectomy Time! (And Tanner's 44th Birthday)

 What would my hysterectomy be if not surrounded with a bit of hysteria? Or hilarity? Either or, the drama was in full swing. A few weeks prior to surgery, the insurance company called and said they were denying my surgery but wouldn't tell me why. After a fun few days of detective work, we found out they were requiring a PAP smear. So I ran down to Newport for a medical test to be invasively performed on a part of my body that will be removed in a matter of days. It was a fun 4 hours of wasted time and discomfort. 

THEN, the insurance company was not providing a letter of intent and therefore the hospital could not give me a payment estimate. On the way to MCO 6 days before surgery, I got a call from HOAG offering me a cash prize! Problem solved! They said because the insurance was not providing the required documents, they were offering me a cash prize of (go sit down, this is huge) $51,000!!! Wow! But wait a minute, I'm confused. Do I use the cash prize to pay for the hysterectomy? How much would that cost?

And that's when the clarification clicked. He was not offering me a cash PRIZE. HOAG was offering me a discounted cash PRICE. 

P.R.I.C.E. 

What a deal! 35% off of the regular price of a hysterectomy. Only $51,000! Such a steal. Needless to say, all hands were on deck to get that LOA and the next day, we were good to go. I wasn't too worried about it all because I know Brother Bob would take care of it, worst case scenario.

I got my time off paper work filled out at school and told the kids I would be gone for a long time because I was having surgery. One of kids looked me dead in the eyes and asked, "Are you getting a flu shot?" I giggled and told him no. Then he asked if I was getting put to sleep and I said yes. Then someone asked if I was getting stitches and I said yes which inspired all of the kids to tell me their tales of stitches. It was kinda funny how Colleen just waved to me from across the hall and was like, "Good riddens!" Even now, a few days later, I haven't heard from her. Such a strange relationship we have....

With all my ducks in a row, I was finally ready to head in for surgery. I woke up early on the morning of the 25th to drink a protein shake. My last meal. When the kids woke up, we got them ready and Tanner gave me a beautiful blessing. Ella wasn't feeling well (he gave her a blessing too) but I sent her to school anyway because she didn't have a fever. Until...

The school called a half an hour before we were about to go to the hospital and said she had a fever of 101. We had to pick her up and in a scramble, we decided to pull Rayleigh and Jack out too. We needed Ray to take care of Ella. Never a dull moment!

We got the kids settled and headed to HOAG and everything went smoothly from there. I got admitted, gowned, and started and IV. Jack called me about 10 times and then texted me through Discord asking if he could have more screen time for Tik Tok. Ummmmmm, son, I'm about to have major surgery. Can you call your very healthy and available Dad who is just sitting there doing nothing???

My entire care team was amazing. Nurse Reese was so great during pre op, Dr. Sam was a fantastic anesthesiologist, and of course Dr. Winter was an exceptional surgeon. My hysterectomy was recorded for a student to watch and I kinda want to watch it! I wonder how I get access to it?? Everything went well and he was able to clean up extensive scar tissue and adhesions. It always takes me twice as long to come out of anesthesia and when they asked me to finally get up and walk to the bathroom I was stunned. But I did it! Tanner took me home and I crawled into bed and went to sleep. I threw up a few times at the hospital and then during the night. But that was the worst of it!

I woke up at the same time I normally do (about 6:15) and felt pretty good! It was Tanner's birthday and thankfully we thought ahead and made him a little gift bag with treats and cards. He opened it before school and then dropped the kids off before heading to Palm Springs for a work conference.

My mom came to be with me while Tanner was gone and it was so nice! She's been so busy taking care of Jon's kids while they are in Argentina settling Laura's parent's affairs and selling the house now that they've both passed away. I probably over did it before she arrived- doing the dishes and starting some laundry and taking a shower. But I didn't want her to do that either!!!! We are like the blind leading the blind. But we sat for hours on the couch and just chatted away which was so fun. The kids had rehearsal so we picked them up at 5:00 and then took Ella to soccer at 6. RaShelle brought dinner which was so nice and we all laid down to read around 8pm. 

Just in time for the smoke alarm to go off.

What in the actual???? Apparently, because its 90 degrees and the AC has been running, the condensation pan overflowed and the water leaked down through the smoke alarm and can lights. It was raining over the stairs. My mom and I were hobbling around grabbing a broom and trying to turn it off. It was quite the scene. I told Tanner he needed to come home and fix it (which he obviously couldn't do) Then I sent him the new song by Raye "Where the Hell is my Husband" and he was cracking up with Ricky and Ivonia. Poor guy. I know his 44th birthday was nothing like he wanted it to be. But he was able to golf so that's good. I read to the kids and we all slept well that night and the smoke alarm stayed quiet.

Friday morning, we got the kids off to school and then Javier came to check out all the leaks and will work with Tanner on fixing it all. Kim and Monte called to check on me and I told them about the fiasco. I told Monte we might need him to come help us with all the leaks and he said he wasn't too good at fixing leaks and I said, "Just taking leaks?" Cuz Percocet brings my humor to the next level. We watched HGTV all day until it was time to pick up the kids and then my mom headed home. I know she's exhausted and I hope she gets a break soon. Brother Goodfellow passed away so I know she's heavily involved in that. And Jon and Laura don't get back until March 8th. Tanner arrived home and took Jack straight to soccer and Lisa brought us dinner. It's good to feel loved!

Anyhoo, recovery is going well and I'm happy to report there's been NO constipation. Subscribe and follow for how I managed that feat. The worst thing I'm dealing with right now is a massive case of FOMO. The Rondo mom's got together last night for a spa night and it looked so fun. For the first time in YEARS, the women from my ward (headed by Jill) are meeting at Ivette's new place at Newport Dunes to have a beach day and get dinner. I'm super sad to miss out. But I can't drive and I feel like it would be a slap in the face to Cheryl if we bailed on her bringing dinner. So pray for me in my time of needed suffering from FOMO. 

In other news: Parker got transferred the day before my surgery! He said goodbye to Vernal and moved to Park City! He's still getting his bearings (he has a hard time with change and transitions) but so far so good! He was able to call us on Wednesday when we were scrambling trying to get the kids figured out. We charged his phone so the kids could call us (and more importantly, we could call them) but we didn't know the passcode to his phone! (Update: we still don't know). The next day, we were able to talk a little bit because he can call his parents on their birthdays. So that worked out! He looks soooo handsome and I'm so proud of him. But man, I'm missing him and I could have really used his support this week! 

I'm on the road to recovery and excited to never have a period ever again. A week or 2 of healing for the peace of mind knowing I don't have to have a period. I'm excited to get my body healthy and ready for the next adventure!